Knowing the "not so pretty" details about life with lupus could only result in a pity party right?  Wrong.  Having sympathy for, and throwing a pity party for someone are two very different responses.  When someone shows sympathy for me as a result of my trials with lupus, they offer help in a specific way.  They are the people in my life that call to talk to me, and ask about my health half way through our conversation, not as soon as they hear my voice.  When people are "into" the pity party thing, they really make it about themselves.  They ask how I am feeling out of their own need to "feel" something.....anything, even pity. I have also noticed that certain people in my life want to talk about my illness because they can hide behind it and not talk about things that make them feel uncomfortable.  It keeps people at a distance.  Again, for those people, it is self serving.  

Since making an effort to recognize the people in my life who feel genuine sympathy for me, and empathy for my situation, I have been able to weed out my pity party patrons.  I may not have written them out of my life, but I do refrain from sharing the details of my illness with them.  Are there people in your life that are more interested in your illness, rather than having a meaningful conversation about other things?